Parenthood is one of the most rewarding experiences a person can have. The first time you look at a new life that you created, your entire world changes.
Parents are only human and they have bad days. The problem is that when your bad day bleeds over to verbal cruelty to your kids, you can negatively affect their health and wellness. Taking time to be nicer to your children can help with many developmental and behavioral problems. Here are some things you should avoid when talking to your kids.
When you address behavioral issues with your kids, avoid words such as “never,” “always,” or “ever.” Asking your child why they always behave a certain way or why they never do what you ask will only put these absolutes in their head.
This can subconsciously encourage the very behavior you are trying to bring to light. Keep things in the moment. Discuss what your child has done now, not what they always do.
When your child repeatedly does something wrong, you can be tempted to throw your hands up in the air and say, “What is your problem?” or “What is wrong with you?” This is something you should avoid. Just because your child is doing the same thing over and over, does not necessarily mean they have a problem. It could just mean they are kids.
In many situations, children act out in situations where they feel comfortable and safe. Asking what their problem is could potentially create problems where before there were none.
This is potentially the worst thing you can do when your child acts out. Yes, you are enraged and frustrated that your child just will not behave. Insults may spring unbidden to your tongue. It is important to bite them back.
From the moment they can communicate we teach our kids that name calling is bad. Why would we do it to our kids?
When you call your child a jerk, a brat or worse, they may begin to see themselves that way. This will lead to further behavioral problems and can create issues with self-esteem and self-image.
What to Do
As difficult as it sounds, patience is key. When your child pushes you over the edge, take a moment to breathe. Consider the fact that you are not dealing with another grown-up. Try to see the situation from the child’s point of view, and address the behavior accordingly.
If you find that you simply cannot effectively address the issues, a qualified child psychologist in Edmonton may be able to help. Many therapists offer comprehensive Autism, ADHD and behavioral therapy services, and can educate you on how to better handle such problems in your child.
If you think you and your child could benefit from therapy, please give us a call today. We are eager to help.